Thoughtful Thursday: Hobbies & Dreams

Jane’s post yesterday about ATCs got me thinking about the various hobbies I’ve planned to take up over the years.  Hobbies that would some day become my vocation because my work would be spectacular and the world would trip over itself trying to lay hands on it.  I think I could be mediocre, at best, at some of those hobbies but given half a chance, and perhaps a little effort, I could possibly excel at one. 

I think my true calling could be that of a planner.  Hell, I’m great at planning.  Planning is all I ever do!  When I decided to try jewelry making, which is plausible because I love jewelry and have hoards of it, I went out and had a blast shopping for all the supplies one could ever need to make jewelry:  Swarovski crystal beads; beads made of agate, hematite and jade; glass beads of swirling colors, silver wire and clasps, needles, pliers, trays and a really cool case to keep it all together!  I even bought a few starter kits thinking they’d give me the confidence I’d need to try something complex.  I’d look at the list of classes being held at our neighborhood bead store and plan to talk to my husband about my signing up for one. 

I’m afraid to say, that’s as far as my jewelry designer super stardom got.  Like most good dreams, this one wasn’t based in reality.  When would I ever have the time to create my own designs, and then bring those designs to fruition?  From 5:00 a.m. to 6:15 p.m., I am doing something work related, then there’s dinner, errands and family time.  Time to create haute couture jewelry?  Not a chance. 

Every once in awhile, I’ll pull out the case with all the paraphernalia and let the beads spill through my fingers as I gaze at their colorful, shiny surfaces.  Maybe one day, when I retire but hopefully before, I’ll start a project and actually finish it! 

Some of the other hobbies I’ve planned and prepared for are painting, creating art with pastels, scrap booking, rubber stamping, gardening, learning other languages, ballroom dance…  The list goes on and on.  I have beautiful paper, stamps, stickers, paints, gardening catalogs, workbooks and audio books that will teach me Japanese, French, Mandarin Chinese, Yiddish and Spanish.   I’ve done plenty of research on the best dance instructors and what perennials are likely to survive through the cold Minnesota winters.  I’ve taught myself a few Beatles tunes on guitar and played around with Photoshop Elements enough to know that I don’t know much.

What’s going on here?  Why can’t I fall in love with an idea and follow it through to its completion?  Why can’t I pick up some string, grab a few beads, and build a bracelet?  Is it fear or is it something else?  Do I seek perfection and then give up when I don’t think I can give something my all?  Or, am I afraid that I might not be good at the project I‘ve chosen?  Time is always a factor but I believe that if you truly want something, you’ll find a way to make it happen.  That’s why I made the decision to pick at least one thing, one creative dream, and see it through. 

Ever since I can remember, I’ve wanted to write.  Storytelling is magic.  The ability to tell a story and put your listeners or readers right at the scene and in the moment, is a true gift.  With the exception of this last year, I’d have to look way back to high school to find any serious writing efforts on my part.  I’ve certainly thought about writing over the years and hoped that whatever ability I had hadn’t been lost.  Now, it’s time to find out. 

I’ve started a few stories and articles, written some poems, created personal blogs and am now a part of Texty Ladies.  Romance Divas, an online writing community, has taught me a lot and I’ve met some incredible people.  My paralyzing fear of doing this thing I love has weakened and will no longer hold me hostage.  The process of learning to write again has also revealed two more interests:  graphic design and website creation.  Creating Texty Ladies has taught me enough to make my head spin!! 

Do I need to give up those dreams of dancing in my Japanese garden while painting and speaking Yiddish, all the while wearing sparkling baubles of my own design?  I don’t think so.  My hope is that I can still dabble in those dreams and use the experiences in my writing.

Are you a planner and idea person like me?  Do you struggle with follow-through?  I’d love to hear about your dreams and the path you took to achieve them, or if you’re at a fork on that path and don’t know which way to turn.

Tags: crafts, dreams, gardening, hobbies, ideas, Writing