Write What You Mean
I’m mourning over Jane’s news (see previous post) so I’m torn over writing an essay for her, or a show-must-go-on writing article. I decided on the latter because it’s the reason Jane asked me here, and . . . truth is, writing is all about human emotion, including devastating grief.
How do we convey emotion by words? In real life, sometimes a hug or flowers mean more than any word could. But in fiction, our only tool is words on the page so choosing the correct words to let the reader know the precise vision in our minds and feeling in our hearts is the most important single aspect of making the page come alive.
Here’s an evolution of vague to specific:
1. She prepared food.
2. She prepared a meal.
3. She prepared dinner.
4. Judy prepared dinner.
5. Judy prepared a roast beef dinner with potatoes and gravy, salad, green bean casserole, and lemon meringue pie.
6. When the buzzer rang, Judy sprang from her office chair, tripped over the cat on the way to the kitchen, and took the lemon meringue pies out of the oven. They smelled heavenly–her only consolation considering she might very well miss her deadline and be fined a hundred dollars a day. Bah! She called to see when her husband would be home with the guests. The phone rang and rang. “Answer the phone, Damian!” While she waited for him to pick up the phone, she stirred the gravy, and took cucumbers, lettuce, carrots, and celery from the refrigerator to prepare the salad. Next time her husband decided to bring important clients home for a dinner party while she was on deadline, she’d hang him by his cojones.
So we go from vague terms to specific images. In the first sentence, we have no clue who the character is or her state of mind. In the last, very expanded version, we know she’s upset with her husband, is on a serious deadline, and feels frenzied about it all. The truth is, the first sentence does tell us what she’s doing but in fiction, the what is probably the least important part of the reader’s experience.
I’ll readily admit that I’m personally more inclined to write the first example rather than the sixth because I love a fast-paced read, but I’m working harder to use words that have specific meaning; e.g., elm instead of tree, Lexus instead of car, limped instead of walked unsteadily.
Question for the day: what vague words irritate you? “Form” is my pet peeve. A form crept in the shadows. So is it two-legged, four-legged, four-wheeled, or what? “Form” is one of those words that even in context, is hard pressed to convey anything specific.
Deidre, you won the autographed copy of Faery Special Romances. I’ll email you for your snail mail address. Congratulations!
And for Jane, in her time of mourning, some flowers.
Have a Magical Monday.
Jacquie
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I can’t say that I have a specific word that bothers me. I don’t like vague words in general. It’s okay to be descriptive as long as you choose your words wisely (i.e., why use three words when one will do?).
Thanks to my high school English teacher, I’m not overly fond of the verb “got.” There are many more descriptive verbs out there that work much harder for you than that lazy, three-letter verb.
I actually like the last because I can just see this poor frazzled woman trying to make a great dinner yet, get her work done then of course that darn cat like always had to be in the pathway!!
I am one that is bad about being vague when I am in a rush. Thankfully for me it is not such a bad thing as I am not a writer myself. But it does get on my nerves when a writer of a story does not give you enough details to keep you interested in what is going on within the story. I want to know what and why and the outcome.
Margay, I agree. Wordiness is not my cuppa, although I have friends who love it. Different strokes, and all that.
Ann, your English teacher and my mom must have been sister-spirits or something. Mom would come unglued when we used “got.” It took me a long time to put it back into my writing. The fact is, “got” is a commonly used word and sometimes, especially in dialogue, a passage will sound stilted without it.
BTW, “it” is another overused vague word. LOL
Mercedes, yep, it’s all about creating a picture where the author and the reader can create the story together. The reader is 50% of story creation, since interpretation is as important as the written passage. The question is, can the author guide the reader? The best ones do–they play with our emotions, torture the characters (and us!), make us cry and laugh, and give us a satisfying ending.
Dianna F, speaking of endings, I’ve noticed a few rushed endings where it appeared that the author ran out of time, so slapped the last two chapters together and called it good. I can’t remember who said it, but I went to a workshop and the speaker said that the first chapter sells the book, but the last chapter sells the next book.
Thank you all for stopping by, especially in light of the tragedy in our midst. Again, I wish Jane well, and I hope she takes all the time she needs to heal.
Actually the word vague is king of strange to me and also little. Both can mean so many things.
Deidre
Too funny, Deidre. Vague does sound vague, doesn’t it? LOL. Same as weird–a very weird word.